Hanging out with one of my girlfriends the other day got me thinking: if I have a daughter, there will be things I need to teach her about men and dating when it comes to money. My friend showed me a picture of her date's car: a new BMW i8 (MSRP: $140,000). She argued that she could care less about what car a guy drives, yet that didn't stop her from admitting she was thrilled to be picked up in his new car.
As giddy as she was about his new car, she wasn't thrilled to find out he rents a dinky old studio apartment in Los Angeles. In fact, she felt something was off there, but dismissed it because she liked his car. His house to car ratio for a financially wise person is totally out of whack, showing that he'd be a poor financial choice for a companion. There are plenty of men out there who have the "wealth" and "success" accessories AKA "successories", but no money in the bank.
Pay Attention To A Man's Net Worth, Not His Fancy Car
I'm at an age in life where I need to prepare for the possibility of having a kid in the future. And if you know me personally, I tend to think long and hard about different scenarios way before they occur. Wealthy people tend to plan for the future while living for today. Saving my potential future daughter from a heartbreak is a major goal of mine.
In addition to my future daughter, I want to help women all over the country who are easily attracted to men that are all show and no substance. An expensive car is a perfect accessory to fool you; no matter how many times a woman says she could care less about a nice car, many do subconsciously. Guys know this and we use it to our advantage.
I remember picking up a female friend in a rental Porsche 911 convertible, because I wanted a top-down during the summer days here in Malibu. Even though it was clearly a rental, her eyes lit up when she got in the car. It didn't make any sense!
After a couple of drinks on the beach, my friend showed me a selfie she took of her in the Porsche convertible, with a comment from someone that said, "How come guys with Porsche's always get all the hot girls?"; it's funny to say, but a nice car hits the mark on a woman's checklist.
Ladies, if you meet a guy with a luxury car, or one that has nice accessories, your warning lights should be flashing! Start doing some research about his finances to see if there are congruencies. Appearances can be deceiving! Remember, only about 3% of Americans are millionaires out of the estimated 322 million people living here. And that statistic is skewed because a millionaire's net worth in America considers it cars, clothing, furniture, cell phone, jewelry, etc. as assets.
Questions You Need To Answer Before Deciding If He's An Ideal Financial Mate
Don't Make Excuses With Men
Getting back on the subject of my friend that was infatuated with the new BMW i8, she couldn't understand why he lived in a small ghetto building. She defended her date by making rationalizations: "Everyone has different values. He's probably a car enthusiast and besides, he's single, so why should he buy a place? Why does he need to have assets when his job is taking care of his new car?". If you ask me, it's probably because he couldn't afford anything else after his car payment.
There are guys out there that will read this, who own nice cars; but don't have any assets to their name. If you happen to be that guy, you may be upset with my article. But here's the thing: This post isn't for you. It's for all the people that are easily smitten by shiny expensive things.
For money happiness with your mate, follow this common sense logic:
Why Focusing On His Net Worth Is Better Than Any Shiny Objects
For the women out there (and my future daughter), who might still be unconvinced about my perspective, let's make it clear:
Be Self Dependent
One day, I will tell my future daughter, that it's easy to go from a hard life to an easy life when you have the right knowledge and take appropriate action. But wasting an easy life, and turning it into a hard life will kill you.
Single guys in their 20s are allowed to drive super expensive luxury cars that cost way more than 10% of their gross income or past the 20x net worth rule. A nice car is the first thing many guys who start making money buy. Besides, most people aren't thinking about settling down, starting a family, or retiring early in their 20s. They just want to live in the moment and to the max. By the way, if you want to retire before 30, you better hustle and plan to retire early. I did.
But if you're in your 30s or 40s and on, and still spending money like an idiot, just know that eventually, you will be not be rich or wealthy, and you will have to keep buying expensive cars to impress people by covering up your inadequacies. This is because you will be older, probably not in shape, less attractive, and lacking the communication skills that wouldn't require you to rely on an expensive car to land a date.
The lesson? Life is so much easier if you have a partner in crime who is already financially secure. For all the women out there who are annoyed with my financial dating advice, don't worry. I will be telling my future daughter to be an independent woman, and to build her own wealth so she doesn't have to rely on men's shiny objects to determine the fate of her self (and net) worth.